THE WOMAN'S RIGHT TO PLEASURE IN ISLAM

Please note : that whatever i quote and bring below does not restrict the right of a woman or a wife in regards to her intimate rights. It is only a small preview displaying how much importance the Islamic system and scholars have given women that they even pen down her basic needs which 90% of the time is achieved naturally yet the scholars felt the need to explain how our islamic shar`iah meticulously takes care of women to such an extent that even explicitly in writing have it cleared that her rights are inviolable and no one can come later on to claim its abrogation or take credit for its invention as some modern day human rights or LGBT rights claim. More so, considering the detailed explanation and attention islam and islamic scholars have given this subject, I doubt such effort or even consideration let alone rights , exist in any other religion. 


1) The right to fulfillment of her needs and desires




Narrated `Ikrima:


Rifa`a (r.a) divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. `Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) came, `Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When `AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, `Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa`a." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless `Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) saw two boys with `Abdur- Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that `AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet (ﷺ  smiled sympathizing to her complain about her husband not fulfilling her desires and) said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow,"

[Ref: Sahih al-Bukhari 5825]

Ibn `Umar r.a narrated: A woman went to the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam) and said "I am a Muslim woman and i have a husband in my house who is like a woman [i.e. he does not have intercourse with her]. The prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam summoned her husband and said "why is your wife saying this?". The man replied (in his defense): "By the one who has honoured you, my head has not dried from her (i.e. he just performed a ghusl bath after having intercourse with her). She said: He hasn't been (intimate) with me for a month! The prophet sallalahu `alayhi wa sallam then called them both (nearer) and supplicated: "Oh Allah, bring them together and make them love one another" 

[Ref: Imam bayhaqi recorded this in Dalail an-Nabuwa and recorded by Imam suyuti (1/156)]

Imam ibn qudaamah rahimahullah said:

والوطء واجب على الرجل إذا لم يكن له عذر ، وبه قال مالك .

Intercourse is obligatory upon the man if he has no excuse. This was also the view of Maalik. 


[Ref: Al-Mughni, 7/30 ]

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

It is obligatory upon the husband to have intercourse with his wife according to what will satisfy her, so long as this will not harm him physically, or keep him from earning a living, and that is not restricted to four months. 

[Ref: Fatawa al-Kubra 3/145]

1.1) It is permissible for the husband and wife to enjoy each other’s body, as Allaah says (which means): {They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her - as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and you are the same for them.}[Qur'an 2:187]. Allaah further says (which means): {Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how you will.}[Qur'an 2:223].


1.2) The prophet (sallalhu `alayhi wa sallam) is reported to have said : 

ثم إذا قضى حاجته فلا يعجلها حتى تقضى حاجتها 

....When he finishes his desire (of sex) he should not hurry with her (to leave her) until she finishes her desire.

[Ref: Musnad abu Ya`la (1/103); Dha`eef] 



1.3) It was also compiled by `Abdul-Razzaq in his (Musanaf) in addition to Al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with all three of them) that he said: It is forbidden to practice coitus interruptus (ejaculating outside and not inside) with a free woman except with her permission 


[Ref: Musannaf Abdurr Razzaq Vol. 7 Pg 143, no. 12562 and Al Bayhaqi Vol. 7, pg 231 ]


1.4) The prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him) included as playing with one's wife among the righteous and virtuous deeds i.e. deeds that don't go in vain 

[Ref: Sunan Abi Dawud 2513 and also see the hadeeth of Jabir ibn `Abdullah in Sahih Muslim, Book 8 – The Book of Marriage, Hadeeth 3462. See Ibn Hajr explaining how this hadeeth permits oral sex here in the sharh : http://hadith.al-islam.com/Page.aspx?pageid=192&TOCID=2774&BookID=33&PID=9284 ]] 

1.5) 

قال ابن قدامة المقدسي – رحمه الله - :

ويستحب أن يلاعِب امرأته قبل الجماع ؛ لتنهض شهوتُها ، فتنال من لذة الجماع مثل ما ناله ، وقد روي عن عمر بن عبد العزيز عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال

( لا تواقعها إلا وقد أتاها من الشهوة مثل ما أتاك لكيلا تسبقها بالفراغ ، قلت : وذلك إليَّ ؟ نعم إنك تقبِّلها ، وتغمزها ، وتلمزها ، فإذا رأيتَ أنه قد جاءها مثل ما جاءك : واقعتها ) .

فإن فرغ قبلَها : كُره له النزع حتى تفرغ ؛ لما روى أنس بن مالك قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم :

( إذا جامع الرجل أهله فليصدقها ، ثم إذا قضى حاجته : فلا يَعجلها حتى تقضي حاجتها )

؛ ولأن في ذلك ضرراً عليها ؛ ومنعاً لها من قضاء شهوتها

" المُغني " ( 8 / 136 ) .

Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisi (541 - 623 A.H) said: 

It is recommended to engage in foreplay with one’s wife before intercourse, so as to arouse her and so that she will get the same pleasure from intercourse as he does. It was narrated from ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said: “Do not have intercourse with her until she is aroused as you are, lest you finish before she finishes.” I [the narrator] said: Are you telling me? He said: “Yes; you should kiss her and touch her, until you see that she is aroused as you are, then have intercourse with her.” 

If he reaches climax before she does, it is not right for him to withdraw until she reaches climax, because of the report narrated by Anas ibn Maalik who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:

 “When a man has intercourse with his wife, let him pay proper attention to her. Then when he has fulfilled his desire, he should not withdraw from her until she has fulfilled her desire.” And because that may be harmful to her and prevent her from fulfilling her desire. 

[Ref: Al-Mughni, 8/136 ]

وكلا الحديثين ضعيفان ، لكنهما صحيحان فقهاً ، كما بينَّا .

Both hadeeths are dha`eef but they are correct in meaning, as we stated above. 

قال المناوي – رحمه الله - :

( إذا جامع أحدكم أهله ) أي : حليلته ، قال الراغب : وأهل الرجل في الأصل يجمعه وإياهم سكن ثم عبر به عن امرأته .

( فليصدقها ) بفتح المثناة وسكون المهملة وضم الدال ، من الصدق في الود والنصح ، أي : فليجامعها بشدة ، وقوة ، وحُسن فعل جماع ، ووداد ، ونصح ، ندباً .

( فإن سبقها ) في الإنزال وهي ذات شهوة :

( فلا يعجلها ) أي : فلا يحملها على أن تعجل فلا تقضي شهوتها ، بل يمهلها حتى تقضي وطرها كما قضى وطره ، فلا يتنحى عنها حتى يتبين له منها قضاء أربها ؛ فإن ذلك من حسن المعاشرة ، والإعفاف ، والمعاملة بمكارم الأخلاق والألطاف ... .

ويؤخذ من هذا الحديث وما بعده : أن الرجل إذا كان سريع الإنزال بحيث لا يتمكن معه من إمهال زوجته حتى تنزل : أنه يُندب له التداوي بما يبطئ الإنزال ؛ فإنه وسيلة إلى مندوب ، وللوسائل حكم المقاصد .

Al Mannaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) quoting the hadeeth said: 

The words {{“When one of you has intercourse with his wife, let him pay proper attention to her”}} i.e., let him have intercourse with her energetically and vigorously, doing it properly and with love and sincerity towards her. This is what is recommended. 

{{“If he finishes before her” }}i.e., if he reaches climax first and she is still aroused. 

{{“He should not withdraw from her”}} i.e., before she reaches climax and fulfils her desire; rather he should give her time so that she could fulfil her desire as he fulfilled his desire. So he should not move away from her until he is certain that she has fulfilled her desire, because that is part of kind treatment, keeping her chaste and being considerate towards her. 

From this hadeeth and others we learn that if the man is quick to reach climax, such that he cannot give his wife time to reach climax, it is recommended for him to seek treatment that will delay ejaculation, because this is a means of doing something recommended, and means come under the same ruling as ends. 

[Ref: Fayd al-Qadeer, 1/325 ] 

2. The Right to bear a child 


It was related by Imam Ahmad and Ibn Majah on the authority of `Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) forbade the practice of coitus interruptus (Withdrawing the penis before ejaculation or withdrawing the penis at all) with a free woman, except with her permission (so as to give her the right to enjoy and the right to bear a child) 


[Ref: Ahmad Vol.1 Pg. 31, Ibn Majah Vol.1 Pg. 620 no. 1928, Al Fasawy, Al Ma'rifah wa Al Tarikh Vol.1 , Pg. 385, Verified : Akram Diya' Al-'Umary, Al Bayhaqi Vol. 7, pg 231 ] 

There is more discussion by scholars on this topic writing down in black and white the wife's right to oral pleasure lest someone gets influenced from the jews in their religion and come to forbid Muslim women from enjoying what Allah had made halal for them. But for the sake of brievety i will abstain from quoting all of it. In short this shows how islam pays attention to even the meticulous details of an everyday woman's life.