This article is from the series : http://whytheshariah.blogspot.com/search/label/Women%20in%20Islam
Dowry - The simplest definition would imply dowry being a system or more appropriately a tradition wherein the woman via her family (or herself) offers a gift (money, property, etc) to the groom (or bridegroom) as a customary token of acknowledgement to the groom's family thanking them for having her married to their son
In the real world, this definition takes a totally different form. A form so evil , that affects the very balance of the society and the human mindset.
In other words, dowry is a tradition predominant in South Asia (such as India, Pakistan., Bangladesh and some other countries) wherein the family of the bride has to literally sell their daughter to the groom's family. Until and unless the bridal side doesn't warm the pockets of the groom/his family, they would not "undertake the favor" of marrying this bride.
Often, failure to pay dowries leads to in-house or domestic torture, violence and oppression (both mental and physical) by the groom's family members. They look down upon her as if she were a burden , a downtrodden part of a society and all of these gestures and thoughts merely because she did not pay the dowry or the paid amount wasn't " warm" enough .
The inconceivable brutality faced by the women in many cases is such that it leads to her suicidal deaths, or death due to sickness as a result of all the tension and torture or physical ailment for life such as paralysis or it's kinds.
this stressful environment does not retain within the borders of the husband's family walls , but it is taken out on the bride's parents as well. In many cases insulting and further pressuring the bride's family to pay a handsome amount otherwise they and their daughter would be subject to further torture . Threats such as divorce are very common. In these countries, for a woman to be a divorcee is taken very seriously. To many a divorce is like a bad ink spot on a white shirt which tampers with their remaining life. In many cases or say 80% of the cases, the divorced women are unable to re-marry either due to religious constraints as found in hinduism or due to societal pressure.
While some may blame the existence of this practise upon the lack of education, the matter of fact is that this practise stems from two main branches.
1) the vedic (aka hindu) religious doctrines
See here for details : http://vaniquotes.org/wiki/According_to_the_Vedic_system,_a_daughter_is_given_a_sufficient_dowry_at_the_time_of_her_marriage,_and_therefore_Sati_was_also_given_a_dowry_by_her_father_(Daksa),_and_ornaments_were_included
2) the customs and culture that shapes up in the society since generations
See: this link for a beneficial read: http://marriage.knoji.com/dowry-system-in-indian-society/
Though dowry system is legally prohibited in India and many other nations, yet it's existence is as prevalent as the visibility of the sun , yet due to its existence many - rather a large fraction - among the poor class express disapproval upon having a female child being born, and they avoid educating her so as to save the money for her dowry. Some marry her off at an early age so as to avoid a large dowry thereby snatching away her childhood, adolescent as well as academic and social life whereas some simply abort the child.
Parents are often tensed and indulged in a stressful savings scheme so as to be able to afford a good household to marry off their daughter because a good household dictates that a good amount of dowry be paid. Thus the connection.
This evil is so widespread that we have official records stating the following :
Woman killed over dowry 'every hour' in India | A woman is killed every hour in India because her family failed to meet her husband and in-laws' demands for higher dowry payments and lavish gifts.
Official figures from India's National Crime Records Bureau reveal that 8,233 young women, many of them new brides, were killed in so-called 'dowry deaths' in 2012. The report comes amid growing concern over the level of violence against women following the Delhi gang rape case last December.
The number of deaths is marginally less than in 2011, but reflects a broader increase in gender violence. While dowry deaths fell slightly from 8618 to 8233, the number of cases of cruelty committed by husbands and their relatives increased significantly from 99,135 in 2011 to 106,527 last year. Many of the cruelty cases are believed to be dowry-related and many dowry killings are preceded by cruelty by the husband and in-laws.
Although the payment of dowries for marriage is illegal in India, they remain widespread across caste, class and educational divides. In recent years demands have become more insistent and expensive.
Why the Islamic Shar`iah?
14 centuries ago the messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was instructed by God with a different rule. A rule that if implemented today with honesty and sincerity, would have saved more than 3+ million lives in just 5 or less decades let alone centuries.
To keep it simple and short, here is what Islam has to say about dowry:
In Islam the mahr (dowry) is one of the rights of the wife, which is hers to take in total and is lawful for her, in contrast to the widespread practice in some countries, where the wife is given no dowry. Evidence that the wife must be given her dowry is found in many places, for example the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And give to the women (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
Ibn ‘Abbaas ( a companion of the prophet) said: “This refers to the mahr (dowry).”
Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said, summarizing the comments of the mufassireen on this aayah: “The man must definitely pay the dowry to the woman, and he should not resent it.”
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a cantar (of gold, i.e., a great amount) as mahr, take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin? And how could you take it (back) when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [al-Nisaa’ 4:20-21]
Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “This means: if any one of you wants to divorce his wife and replace her with another, you should not take anything from what you have already given the first wife, even if it was a huge amount of wealth. The mahr is given in exchange for the right to enjoy marital relations. For this reason Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):“And how could you take it (back) when you have gone in unto each other…?” The “firm and strong covenant” is the marriage contract.
Anas ibn Maalik,(another companion of the prophet) may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and there were traces of yellow (perfume) on him. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him about it, and he told him that he had just married a woman of the Ansaar. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him, “How much did you give her?” He said: “Gold equal to the weight of one date stone.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give a waleemah (wedding feast) even if only with one sheep.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4756).
The mahr is the right of the wife, and it is not permitted for her father or anyone else to take it except with her approval. Abu Saalih said: “When a man married off his daughter, he would take her mahr away from her, but Allaah forbade them to do that, and gave women the right to the mahr they received.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer).
Source: http://islamqa.info/en/2378
So you see, how it's the complete opposite? In Islam the male has to express his thanks and gratitude to the bride's family and along with this, guarantee her a comfortable agreed upon amount (or asset) that would please her and her family. Usually such amounts are taken as a source of security by the women, if in case the man tends to divorce her right after or some other mishap may happen. Nevertheless, the woman in the islamic shar`iah has nothing to worry about and nor do her parents have to live their life in humiliation . On the contrary, the male who is considered as the bread owner in many families or dominantly across the globe if you say, is responsible for gifting the bride .
So you see how this resolves the evil of dowry system? There are further details and rulings for this particular system of mahr which isn't the topic of our article as of now, so we shall skip it for the sake of brevity
